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The Goddess In You - On Relationships
By: Wendy Nickerson, Psy.D
When Gail, my best friend, would change her mind and go and play with Sharon,
when we were eight years old, I would feel rejected and devastated. Most people
experience this dynamic in childhood and carry it over into their adult lives.
They are devastated when someone who they are close to moves on. If we break
this down into its finest parts, we know that this situation causes thoughts of
hurt and rejection that lead to feelings of resentment and sadness. Feelings and thoughts are merely strands of energy.
When friends, lovers, family members etc, 'break up' distance themselves or go
their separate ways we often say it is because we are on different wave
lengths. Little do most know, how true this really is! When someone's frequency
of vibration is similar or the same as our own, we feel close to the person. We
resonate with them. (It is so important not to 'choose' a partner when we are in
pain or experiencing a difficult time because we will attract like frequency,
which is generally not for our highest good! That's why we are told to heal
before we 'move on'.) We learn and grow from them. But this personal development
eventually causes us to think and feel differently which in turn causes our
frequency of vibration to change. We no longer feel connected to the person,
unless they learn and grow at the same rate and change their frequency of
vibration at the same rate.
One of the most challenging situations for someone to be faced with in life
is having to let go of pain experienced in past relationships. They don't know
how to protect themselves from negative frequencies that come their way that are
associated with pain. Clearing yourself of this pain and the energy associated
with it so that you can attract higher levels of frequencies (and more affluent
situations in your life) is truly a unique accomplishment. Constant
visualizations and incantations of being clear and having the energy cords cut
will only allow the highest levels of frequencies to enter your being. But this
means that the ego has to get out of the way. It is like being non-human,
almost. It is like being a goddess!
But we have been programmed to be emotional and competitive. How do we
possible transcend this learning? But it can be done. Do you know anyone of this
nature? Can you emulate them?
The benefits of raising your level of consciousness to this level is to
transcend emotional pain. You bypass it. Not only does it set you free, it sets
your partner free also. To live and experience life to the fullest. Without
fear, and without manipulations.
Having a sense of ownership over another person, whether it be a lover or a
child of yours, keeps them in a box. It can keep them from growing and
transcending human consciousness. But we have to always look at and be aware of
our own intent. Are we doing it, that is, are we aspiring to this level of
consciousness so we can "win" above another person? This is the wrong reason. If
anything, we could do it so that we can model a different way of being. So others can be exposed to this higher level of consciousness. Is this self-sacrificing? I don't
think so.
So how is this accomplished? Do you just pretend and tell yourself that you
do not care? No. You think of the situation in its highest form. In terms of
energy. If everything in this universe, including thoughts, emotions, and
material things can be broken down into energy, then you need to think of the
situation in its most refined form. In terms of energy. Imagine the frequencies
of energy that you are attracting to you, in all forms, when you try to own,
manipulate, or judge another person from your ego state. Picture very refined
energy entering into your essence and that is the energy and the level of
consciousness that you will attract. Higher levels of energy are not painful and
have the capacity to change your thought patterns for your highest good.
So often in relationships, when a frequency changes, we think the
relationship is over. When actually, some time may just need to pass for the
other person to 'catch up'. But how long do you wait before you make a decision
as to whether the other person is going to catch up? This is especially
pertinent in intimate relationships. Often friendships and acquaintances can
assume some distance and time before reconnecting, but intimate relationships
seem more fragile than that, and everyone needs someone, so most people just
move on.
When you look at relationships this way, it is much easier to detach and let
go because you understand the actual mechanics behind the dynamics. Your ego
plays less of a part and you begin to realize that everything is in divine
order. However, this is a difficult concept to actually integrate into our
consciousness, especially in Western culture, because we have been so trained to
think that marriage and love is forever and that we should stay in there until
death do us part. This situation is particularly sad when the couple is not on
the same wavelengths and the one that is dragging behind is not interested in
catching up.
On another note, understanding frequency of vibration in relationships is
especially important in understanding why people come and go out of our lives.
To teach us something. To help our frequency change and evolve. It is not
about rejection and abandonment. It is about everything in divine
order.
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