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Wild Women Never Get the Blues!
By: Wendy Nickerson, Psy.D
As women, we hear so much talk on how to gain self- esteem and improve our
self-image. We are told to change the way we think about ourselves. This is all
very well, but it is only the first step to gaining self-esteem and feeling
good. In order to truly gain self-esteem and feel complete as a woman, we must
override society's programming of how we 'should be' and become a 'Wild Woman.'
Now, this does not mean we are going to dance on the table tops in bars! It
means that we are going to make a journey from our head to our heart and tap
into our highest truths and passions.
The process of growing from who and what you are, to who and what you want to
become, involves work, time and FUN. In addition to changing your self-thoughts,
I have included some tips on how to speed up this magnificent process of change.
1. Learn to Relax: It is only when we are relaxed that we can tap into that
wealth of knowledge and understanding in our subconscious mind. Ever notice
that? How inspired and open your thoughts are after a vacation, or a few days on
the beach! It doesn't always have to be a vacation, though, as you can achieve
the same psychological state by simply training yourself to relax for a few
minutes. It's amazing the ideas that you will come up with and most of them will
be positive! Why? Because they are originating from a place of calmness.
Stressed people cannot think positive thoughts about themselves and really mean
them! It just doesn't work that way.
2. Develop Good Life Habits: "The chains of habit are generally too small to
be felt until they are too strong to be broken." -Samuel Johnson. It is easy to
develop good life habits, once you start to reap the rewards. By good life
habits, I mean doing things that foster adequate rest, exercise, nutrition, and
an overall sense of wellness. It is unlikely that you will be thinking positive
thoughts about yourself if you are tired and have not exercised in months. Keep
a journal and record some of your self-thoughts after a night of depleted rest
and watch how you sabotage yourself.
3. Become Creative: "If you think it, you can do it. If you can visualize it,
you can become it." Know that it is okay to be imaginative. It doesn't mean that
you "are not in the real world". It does mean, however, that you are not limited
by the status quo! By becoming creative you are able to establish your life's
purpose in it's fullest form. You are able to develop a map for your life and
live it out in such a way that you understand and feel your purpose for being on
this earth. One way to become creative is by reading different and stimulating
material. Get involved with different types of people who offer ideas that are
foreign to you. You might even want to try living in a different country or
culture for awhile. You will see more resources and possibilities in every daily
experience if your practice meditation. Learn to visualize. It's only once your
thoughts about yourself are in your vision, that they will be realized!
4. Expect happiness! Sounds easy doesn't it? But you must focus on the good
in order to do this. Remember, that what you focus on, expands. If you listen to
and read a lot of news, you are focusing on the bad, while undermining the
expectancy of happiness. If you go to sleep at night while listening to the
news, or anything negative, you doubly magnetize yourself toward the negative.
Did you know that you really do deserve to be happy? Little children know that
until they are socialized otherwise.
5. Learn To Be Yourself and Follow Your Passion. This is the only way that
you can discover who you really are. It is important that you stay as close as
possible to your "true self." When we follow our passion, our energies are
magnetized and we draw to us that which we need to fulfill our life's purpose.
When we do not, we feel depressed, anxious, and negative. Take the risk and live
out your dreams, regardless of what you have been told about yourself!
6. Don't Live In The Past! Learn from your mistakes or your experiences.
Although this is easier said than done, one way to speed up the process is by
asking yourself, "Okay, how can I enhance my life from that experience because I
know it was put in my life's path for a reason." Learn to realize that painful
life lessons can really be blessings in disguise. I have noticed that the most
personally developed and evolved human beings are those that have had many life
trials and triumphs. This is not to say that you shouldn't allow yourself to go
through the necessary steps of grieving. But staying stuck in the anger and hurt
stage is not good for the development of your "self" because it keeps you in a
'victim mindset' and prevents you from bringing all of your true strengths to
the present.
7. Commit To A Lifetime of Growth. We grow through adversity and challenge.
Commit to grow in consciousness. What does this actually mean? In short, it
means stay in truth. The more you remain in a realm of truth, the consciousness
will take care of itself. The higher your level of consciousness, the more you
are likely to attain your life's purpose and live out your life's dreams and
goals. Imagine what this does for your self-esteem and feelings of
wellness!
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